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Coffee Talk

December 7, 2011

I’m totally fascinated by coffee table books.   And even more fascinated by the coffee table owner’s choice of coffee table books.  Thus was the case on a recent trip to my totally boho BFF’s suburban apartment.

Instead of the over-sized, glossy living room collection of the greatest works of Duchamp expected from this quirky university art history professor, I found a teeny, kitch paper back with a hairless cat on the cover.  Creepiosity: A hilarious guide to the unintentionally creepy.  (Ok, I take it back, maybe this is expected choice from the above mentioned artsy fartsy).

After thumbing through this weirdly funny list of all things bizarre, I couldn’t but begin to start a mental list of my own oddities.  This continued.  The whole weekend.

Here are just a few of what I think should make the second installment in the Creepiosity series.  Calling David Bickel…

1.  Taking a trip to Chicago, or New York, or Dallas, with the sole purpose of visiting the American Girl Store.

2.  Dressing your car in a holiday costume.  Plush antlers and a red nose aren’t meant for a Subaru.

3.  Guys whose profile pictures are shots of their shirtless torsos taken into the mirror with an iPhone.

4.  Perfectly memorized, perfectly perfected, 10-min long Starbucks orders.  For a single drink.

5.  Signage with inexplicably incorrect punctuation.

6.  Ventriloquist conventions.

7.  TV commercials for any feminine hygiene project.  Example: Summer’s Eve.  Eek.

8.  Chewing with your front teeth.

9.  A completely empty nail salon, save the man getting a pedicure and enjoying the massage chair.

10.  Middle aged, mid-western males wearing berets.


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