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In Heinz sight

March 28, 2011

In France they don’t take ketchup with their frites. Mayonnaise is the name of the game.  Or super spicy Dijon mustard that is so strong it literally singes your nose-hairs.   French waiters try to be complimentary when they notice anyone with the slightest accent ordering fries and bring over the bottle of ketchup with a sly little smirk that says, “Here eat ezz, for zee Ah-mare-ee-can“.  Thanks but no thanks, Monsieur, your version tastes like vinegar.

But that’s not to say that you can’t find some good ole’ Heinz if you’d like….in more ways than one.

A few days ago I saw the Queen of ketchup herself crossing a very famous Parisian boulevard.  With Senator Kerry at her side.  He was glaringly obvious from the other side of the street; it’s not hard to miss a 6 ft + guy dressed in pleated kakis and a blue button down in a city filled with skinny jeans and black trench coats.  It was like seeing a long-lost family member for this Yankee trying her best to blend in.

I threw around the idea of saying hi.  When we passed eachother in the crosswalk.  Why not? But, what exactly is the protocol for addressing government officials?  And, would it be smart to do so in the 1min. you’re given to cross, while trying your best to zig-zag around pedestrians and not get hit by the occasional Vespa that decides that, for scooters, obeying the red light/green light rule doesn’t apply.  Maybe the poor guy just wanted to be left alone on his holiday with his wife.

So, after the fact, from afar, without  traffic and tourists:  Good afternoon,  Senator Kerry! Hope you enjoyed Paris. Do they give you mustard with your fries?

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